Yesterday at Ethan's pediatrician visit, the doctor told us that Ethan is developing fine, it is just that we have a sensitive baby.
Basically, sensitive in the sense that you can roll the colic, the acid reflux, and the protein digestion issue into one big ball and add a dash of being sensitive to everything else.
I really wanted to hear that the doctor had some "magical" pill to cure this sensitivity. Instead, of course, it just takes time.
"Time."
The doctor said that things should start improving after the first month (which is where we are at now) but I really believe he was just saying that to give us some kind of hope.
I was a colicky baby and I have no idea how I made it to my current age with the same family. I am surprised that my Mom didn't drop me off on the neighbor's doorstep or something. I am grateful that she didn't and this does give me hope that things will be better one day... but that is cold comfort right now. How in the world am I going to retain ANY shred of sanity that I have left when all he does is sleep and cry?
There is no routine or timeline to his crying. It isn't like I know he will always cry every night from 4p-8p or anything. He, like his mother, cries now whenever the mood catches him.
Well, the vacuum cleaner running trick isn't working anymore and Ethan is up and crying again. I guess that means that MY crying shift is over now that my replacement is awake!
How in the world did anyone else stay sane? Any tips or tricks to try to soothe the baby that has a hard time being soothed??
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
My little man is growing up!
Tomorrow is Ethan's 4-week mark of being in this world. I can't believe it has gone by so quickly already.
I told my Mom the other day that my little baby was growing up by saying, "He has a neck!" Lol~ When babies are so small and newborn, every body part seems to mold into one. He will fall asleep in my arms and his head will be stretched out on my shoulder and then you get a really good view of his neck and facial/head profile and it is easier to picture him as a young child than as a tiny little baby and that makes me sad to realize this already!
He made the transition from Newborn diapers to size 1 about a week ago. He is also outgrowing some of his newborn outfits.
I still find myself gazing at him in astonishment that this little man was inside my tummy. I felt that way when he first came out and I had a difficult time visualizing how cramped he must have been.
Rob and I had some more issues with Ethan's crying so we went to the pediatrician on Saturday morning. Ethan weighed in at 10# 1 oz.
The doctor feels that Ethan's digestive system is having too rough a time breaking down the milk proteins, so he put him on another new formula (Similac's Alimentum) and also gave him a prescription for Prilosec to help with Acid Reflux issues.
I am so grateful that Ethan howled the entire visit because this way the doctor was able to hear just what was going on... and that wasn't even Ethan's worst crying, but the doctor did say, "This is not normal crying." Lol~ I knew that, but it was nice to have a professional come to the same realization and that made me feel better.
This weekend was really nice. The formula stinks to high heaven and it is more expensive, but it really seems to be working. Ethan still cries and fusses, but now it is more in terms of "normal" in my opinion.
I am torn about him growing up and I am sure that I am not the first Mommy to feel this way. On the one hand, I can't wait to see the child and later, the man, he will become yet on the other hand... I want my baby to STAY my baby forever!!!
I told my Mom the other day that my little baby was growing up by saying, "He has a neck!" Lol~ When babies are so small and newborn, every body part seems to mold into one. He will fall asleep in my arms and his head will be stretched out on my shoulder and then you get a really good view of his neck and facial/head profile and it is easier to picture him as a young child than as a tiny little baby and that makes me sad to realize this already!
He made the transition from Newborn diapers to size 1 about a week ago. He is also outgrowing some of his newborn outfits.
I still find myself gazing at him in astonishment that this little man was inside my tummy. I felt that way when he first came out and I had a difficult time visualizing how cramped he must have been.
Rob and I had some more issues with Ethan's crying so we went to the pediatrician on Saturday morning. Ethan weighed in at 10# 1 oz.
The doctor feels that Ethan's digestive system is having too rough a time breaking down the milk proteins, so he put him on another new formula (Similac's Alimentum) and also gave him a prescription for Prilosec to help with Acid Reflux issues.
I am so grateful that Ethan howled the entire visit because this way the doctor was able to hear just what was going on... and that wasn't even Ethan's worst crying, but the doctor did say, "This is not normal crying." Lol~ I knew that, but it was nice to have a professional come to the same realization and that made me feel better.
This weekend was really nice. The formula stinks to high heaven and it is more expensive, but it really seems to be working. Ethan still cries and fusses, but now it is more in terms of "normal" in my opinion.
I am torn about him growing up and I am sure that I am not the first Mommy to feel this way. On the one hand, I can't wait to see the child and later, the man, he will become yet on the other hand... I want my baby to STAY my baby forever!!!
Friday, January 23, 2009
Tiny Toes and Postpartum Woes
These are the infamous little "twinkle toes" that I felt throughout the pregnancy. His feet are so tiny and delicate and precious.
In other news...
We are dealing with a lot of crying and fussiness issues with Ethan, so I have been out of contact more than I would like. The days and nights seem to be literally filled with crying (Ethan's, not mine!... Well... sometimes mine!) and it can be very overwhelming. I feel so bad for my little guy and I feel so helpless to do anything when he gets that way. We have tried so many different things, but nothing seems to work. It looks to me like we will just have to become deaf to his constant screaming until he finally grows out of it.
We are working with the pediatrician to see what the problem could be. We are on our third formula (soy finally... he smells like potatoes... lol). We are unsure if this is a formula issue with a sensitivity to milk or if this is acid reflux or (gulp!) colic. All I know is that I want to be able to help Ethan deal with whatever he is trying to deal with, but I feel helpless to do much of anything and it just breaks my heart completely when he won't be consoled.
I try to focus on the positives. This AMAZING little man was created by Rob and me. I "cooked" him for almost nine complete months. =) He is an absolute blessing, even when he is crying, and I am so grateful that he is in my life and so grateful that I have been so blessed with him.
There are some things in the postpartum that haven't gone as planned (breastfeeding, the inconsolable crying, etc.) and sometimes I feel like a failure about certain things. I know these feelings are normal, but they are so hard to deal with sometimes. I keep my husband's words in mind when I get to feeling that way: "You aren't a failure... Look at what you made."
My new mantras are:
1. "One Day at a Time"
and
2. "This, too, shall pass"
=)
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Ethan's Arrival Story
Hi Everyone!
Well, as most of you know by now, Ethan Allan was born on Tuesday, December 30th, 2008, at 12.36pm via c-section. He was 8 # 4 oz and 21" long.
I had wished that I would have been able to update this sooner or at the very least call everyone and say, "Hey! He's here!" but other things popped up unexpectedly that delayed this.
Basically, Ethan was born on Tuesday around noon. I did not get him completely until late Friday afternoon/early evening. In the interim, I was only able to see/hold him for maybe 45-60 minutes total in that time frame.
Then I was overcome with this incredible sensation that I could not swallow and I felt really nauseous. I heard my doctor tell me to breathe and not hyperventilate, but I could not do anything. Rob told me that my eyes rolled into the back of my head and saw that blood was pouring out of my incision site. I did pull through without issue, so all is well on that front! It was just a little unnerving to have that happen and to hear about it later.
I saw my son then before he was whisked off to the nursery with Rob. I spent some time in recovery and was anxious to get to my room and my son and my husband and begin bonding and to be able to see the little man who was moving and grooving inside me for nine months on the outside of my body. My recovery was going well, despite the fact that my blood sugar was high at 200! I know that I received a glucose drip throughout the delivery, but I am pretty certain they weren't regulating it properly and I don't believe that I received any insulin to bring my sugar levels under control.
These high blood sugars in me created low blood sugars in Ethan. So low, in fact, that he had to have an IV inserted into his tiny, little arm. I had no idea what was going on until my nurse called the nursery asking them to bring my son to me and then a nurse came up empty handed to tell me what was going on and why he wasn't there. I was distraught and started crying, so my nurse asked if we could stop in to see him and we got the okay. I was able to hold Ethan in my arms for the most wonderful 5 minutes of my life. It was over too soon.
I fully expected to have Ethan in the room with me the next day, but his blood sugars were still too low.
Then came the NEXT blow... He tested positive for MRSA (a staph infection) and he had to remain not only in the NICU, but in isolation. I am super happy to report that it was a false positive, but we initially had to wait for 2 negatives to come back on subsequent tests, each one a day apart and a 12-hour culture. I was able to spend about 30-45 minutes in his room holding him and feeding him.
Then I got a fever and I was in isolation in my room. I could not leave at all and therefore could not go see my son. My fever finally went away and I looked forward to FINALLY getting my son when I was told that a THIRD negative MRSA test was required. They also still hadn't cleared me from isolation, too. It is a very difficult thing to deal with knowing that you are trapped in one room and just down the hall is your son, trapped alone in another room... and that the little one you have carried for nine months - never apart from - was just down the hall and I could not go to even see him.
I am SO grateful to both my husband and my Mother for getting super tough and loco on the hospital staff in trying to get answers and to get my son in my arms. They have no idea what this meant to me!! This was the WORST hospital experience of my life. Doctors who were supposed to come and inform us on Ethan's status and what was happening NEVER BOTHERED TO SHOW UP. We could not get straight answers from anyone and I felt so helpless.
Finally, it was decided (through the insistance from my husband and my Mom on behalf of a hysterical new mommy~!) that Ethan could be in isolation with me in my room.
Did the trouble stop there? Oh no.
We were told then that they had run more blood work and tests on Ethan and were concerned about his sodium and potassium levels. He had to get an ultrasound to check out his adrenal glands (everything was a-okay there!) and they have to keep drawing blood out of him because his test results were coming back incorrect. My poor little baby was being used as a pincushion and it was so agonizing for me to witness.
The problem then stemmed from the fact that they were taking blood from the heel, so they had no option but to take blood from his already bruised arms. I helped to hold him down and comfort him while the blood tech first tried one arm unsuccessfully and then finally got blood from the other arms. I felt so much anguish for him! It was a horrible ordeal to go through and to witness and I am so glad that Rob had left the room before that really happened. It was SO hard to watch.
Is it over? Nope.
The test was STILL reading low, so it was ordered that MORE blood was going to be drawn and then they were going to do an EKG. We were able to finally talk to one NICU Pediatrician on call who actually communicated wonderfully with us. The poor man was basically thrown into the middle of things because the last on call pediatrician who was supposed to come to talk to us never bothered to show up at all. The on-call doctor said that he was not going to put Ethan through yet another blood draw and would go off the results of the EKG, which relayed that everything was fine with my son.
We finally arrived at home on Saturday, January 3rd, in the late afternoon.
My grievances? I believe that the dosage of glucose I received during surgery (and without insulin to regulate the levels) caused Ethan's low blood sugar. The on call pediatrician said that the potassium and sodium levels issue was probably caused by the IV fluids that Ethan received as a result of the low blood sugar issue. And the MRSA test? Well, the NICUO submitted a contaminated sample initially that caused so much stress, anxiety, and grief for us all.
We have been through a lot getting this perfect little man into the world and settled... but he was worth every bit of it. I just feel so horrible for everything that he was put through.
Well, as most of you know by now, Ethan Allan was born on Tuesday, December 30th, 2008, at 12.36pm via c-section. He was 8 # 4 oz and 21" long.
I had wished that I would have been able to update this sooner or at the very least call everyone and say, "Hey! He's here!" but other things popped up unexpectedly that delayed this.
Basically, Ethan was born on Tuesday around noon. I did not get him completely until late Friday afternoon/early evening. In the interim, I was only able to see/hold him for maybe 45-60 minutes total in that time frame.
Then I was overcome with this incredible sensation that I could not swallow and I felt really nauseous. I heard my doctor tell me to breathe and not hyperventilate, but I could not do anything. Rob told me that my eyes rolled into the back of my head and saw that blood was pouring out of my incision site. I did pull through without issue, so all is well on that front! It was just a little unnerving to have that happen and to hear about it later.
I saw my son then before he was whisked off to the nursery with Rob. I spent some time in recovery and was anxious to get to my room and my son and my husband and begin bonding and to be able to see the little man who was moving and grooving inside me for nine months on the outside of my body. My recovery was going well, despite the fact that my blood sugar was high at 200! I know that I received a glucose drip throughout the delivery, but I am pretty certain they weren't regulating it properly and I don't believe that I received any insulin to bring my sugar levels under control.
These high blood sugars in me created low blood sugars in Ethan. So low, in fact, that he had to have an IV inserted into his tiny, little arm. I had no idea what was going on until my nurse called the nursery asking them to bring my son to me and then a nurse came up empty handed to tell me what was going on and why he wasn't there. I was distraught and started crying, so my nurse asked if we could stop in to see him and we got the okay. I was able to hold Ethan in my arms for the most wonderful 5 minutes of my life. It was over too soon.
I fully expected to have Ethan in the room with me the next day, but his blood sugars were still too low.
Then came the NEXT blow... He tested positive for MRSA (a staph infection) and he had to remain not only in the NICU, but in isolation. I am super happy to report that it was a false positive, but we initially had to wait for 2 negatives to come back on subsequent tests, each one a day apart and a 12-hour culture. I was able to spend about 30-45 minutes in his room holding him and feeding him.
Then I got a fever and I was in isolation in my room. I could not leave at all and therefore could not go see my son. My fever finally went away and I looked forward to FINALLY getting my son when I was told that a THIRD negative MRSA test was required. They also still hadn't cleared me from isolation, too. It is a very difficult thing to deal with knowing that you are trapped in one room and just down the hall is your son, trapped alone in another room... and that the little one you have carried for nine months - never apart from - was just down the hall and I could not go to even see him.
I am SO grateful to both my husband and my Mother for getting super tough and loco on the hospital staff in trying to get answers and to get my son in my arms. They have no idea what this meant to me!! This was the WORST hospital experience of my life. Doctors who were supposed to come and inform us on Ethan's status and what was happening NEVER BOTHERED TO SHOW UP. We could not get straight answers from anyone and I felt so helpless.
Finally, it was decided (through the insistance from my husband and my Mom on behalf of a hysterical new mommy~!) that Ethan could be in isolation with me in my room.
Did the trouble stop there? Oh no.
We were told then that they had run more blood work and tests on Ethan and were concerned about his sodium and potassium levels. He had to get an ultrasound to check out his adrenal glands (everything was a-okay there!) and they have to keep drawing blood out of him because his test results were coming back incorrect. My poor little baby was being used as a pincushion and it was so agonizing for me to witness.
The problem then stemmed from the fact that they were taking blood from the heel, so they had no option but to take blood from his already bruised arms. I helped to hold him down and comfort him while the blood tech first tried one arm unsuccessfully and then finally got blood from the other arms. I felt so much anguish for him! It was a horrible ordeal to go through and to witness and I am so glad that Rob had left the room before that really happened. It was SO hard to watch.
Is it over? Nope.
The test was STILL reading low, so it was ordered that MORE blood was going to be drawn and then they were going to do an EKG. We were able to finally talk to one NICU Pediatrician on call who actually communicated wonderfully with us. The poor man was basically thrown into the middle of things because the last on call pediatrician who was supposed to come to talk to us never bothered to show up at all. The on-call doctor said that he was not going to put Ethan through yet another blood draw and would go off the results of the EKG, which relayed that everything was fine with my son.
We finally arrived at home on Saturday, January 3rd, in the late afternoon.
My grievances? I believe that the dosage of glucose I received during surgery (and without insulin to regulate the levels) caused Ethan's low blood sugar. The on call pediatrician said that the potassium and sodium levels issue was probably caused by the IV fluids that Ethan received as a result of the low blood sugar issue. And the MRSA test? Well, the NICUO submitted a contaminated sample initially that caused so much stress, anxiety, and grief for us all.
We have been through a lot getting this perfect little man into the world and settled... but he was worth every bit of it. I just feel so horrible for everything that he was put through.
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